“There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.”
― Madeleine Albright
Women tearing down other women isn’t a new phenomenon or anything, and if you’re a woman then you have probably experienced this at least a time or two in your life. It got me thinking, though…
What is up with how some women tear each other down?
Personally, I just don’t get it.
Here is my version of a case study:
A few years ago I worked at a salon where there was an equal ratio of women to men. I had a man for a boss, and before I was a real hair stylist taking my own clients, I apprenticed mostly under all men. Now here is the thing that I noticed over the course of three or so years of working there, the salon became somewhat of a “boys club.” So, what does a “boys club” mean anyway? Basically, it’s when men form their own alliance within a workplace that consists of both men and women, and have each others back no matter what. It made for an interesting dynamic, and the strong boys against girls attitude became palpable over time.
It bugged me.
It kind of reminded me of a book my mother read to me when I was little…
It didn’t bug me because I felt left out of the “boys club,” no that wasn’t it at all, it bugged me that the women in the salon didn’t have the same attitude as the men had toward one another. In fact, it was the total opposite. I’m not saying that all the women who worked there were out to get each other, but I am saying that there were definitely some that were. In particular, there was a ring leader or two who actively did try to bring other women down to get ahead. It came in many different forms, such as telling the boss blatant lies, talking about other female stylists behind their backs, all while simultaneously smiling to their faces. The situation became toxic, especially when other women who wouldn’t normally be so catty joined in on it. Unfortunately, I’m embarrassed to say that there were times when I got sucked into it, too. The kicker of this story, is that each time the women behaved this way to each other, the boys club’s alliance only strengthened.
When I look back at this, I think it’s kind of sad.
I should probably note that I’m sure there are also men who try to knock each other down to get ahead, but while on the topic of women in particular, I thought I’d give you an example of something that personally happened to me.
I don’t want to get into too much depth about this, but recently I received a very passive aggressive email from another woman who felt the need to reprimand me, which opened up this topic for me all over again.
Why do some women feel the need to tear other women down?
Personally I don’t get it. But I do think as women we should try to build each other up, and not tear each other down, don’t you?
However, if you happen to find yourself the victim of a venomous woman talking smack, you can always keep this in mind…
Photos courtesy of Amazon.com, geyserofawesome.com, and bluntcard.com