I Bet You Think This Song Is About You…

You wanna know what I find awkward?  When singers sing their own names in songs.

Has anybody else ever noticed this?  When I hear an artist lovingly singing their own name, whether it’s amidst a long drawn out riff, or a random shout-out in the background of a song, I cannot help but feel my skin crawl.  I don’t know, maybe something about it reminds me of the old Greek mythology tale of Narcissus, or the heeby-jeeby way I feel when people speak of themselves in the third person…whatever it is, it’s awkward, and I wish all those that exercise this strange, strange habit would just, well, stop.

The First Offender:  James Taylor

Go on, get down with your bad self, James.

The first time I experienced this phenomenon was a few summers ago while watching James Taylor on a hot summer night in concert at Jones Beach.  It was a wonderful concert, don’t get me wrong, and James Taylor can still hold his own in a two-hour plus concert.  However, I couldn’t help it.  I cringed a little when he started breaking it down on his guitar while singing, “Baby James” over and over, as he shook his head in pure jamming mode.  I squirmed a little, as I looked at everyone else in surrounding seats, happily singing along to his classics.  Was I the only one noticing this awkwardness?  I glanced back up at James Taylor on the huge stage, still improvising on his guitar.  “Baby James’ he crooned again, this time with more emotion and conviction.

Hadn’t anyone ever told James Taylor that this was an awkward little habit?  I imagined that anyone close to him probably felt too uncomfortable to point it out, and thus enabled ‘this thing’ to go on and on…

Anyway, after my James Taylor discovery, I suddenly started taking notice of other singers doing it.  They seemed to be popping up everywhere which way I turned.

The Second Offender:  Lady Gaga

The Gaga-nator.

Does this ring a bell?

Ga-ga-ooh-la-la! <–Um, yeah she just gave herself a shout-out while chanting in her song Bad Romance.

Now I love Gaga, people, so don’t get it twisted.  She’s a good ol’ Italian gal, she loves Liza Minnelli as much as I do, and she sounds amazing live.  But still, she has a penchant for belting out her own name.

Recently in an interview on Oprah, Lady Gaga’s mother was asked what she thought of her daughter growing up.  Her mother responded something like, “Well, I always kinda thought she had a screw loose?”  Uh, yeah, you think?

The Third Offender, and might I add, WORST Offender:  Jason Derulo

"Jason Deruuuuuuuuloooooooo," as sung by Jason Derulo.

Jason Derulo’s habit of doing this is by far the worst.  He has multiple YouTube videos dedicated to this unbecoming habit, and even a Facebook page entitled, ahem, “Jason Derulo Sings His Own Name.”  He thinks nothing of riffing his own name, or saying it all breathy at the beginning of his songs.  I’m sure he just wants us to know who he is, but I have to ask myself, is this really the way to go about it?  Eh, I don’t think so, but maybe that’s just me…

So, you tell me, has anyone else ever noticed singers crooning their own names?

~The End.

Photos by boardwalkhall.com, idolator.com


What I Really Want Most in Life Right Now…

Is for…Halle Berry to finally get a new haircut.

C'mon Hal, how long have you been rocking this look for now?

You know the old saying, ‘If it ain’t broke don’t fix it?’ Well, if I had to guess, I’d say Halle is probably living by that mantra.  I kind of agree with it too, but not in this case.  Halle has a beautiful face and could clearly rock a variety of styles, so why not mix it up every now and then, Hal?  You’ve been wearing the same haircut since Clinton was in office.  I think it’s time to try a little somethin’ somethin’ new.  What do you say?

Is for…The women on The Bachelor to stop crying over Ben or any other “bachelor” for that matter.

Poor, poor Kacie B...whatchu gonna do? Cry over Ben? C'mon girl, get it together!

I’m not even sure I should get started on this subject, because you won’t be able to shut me up.  I’ll try to keep it simple:  Why do these women season after season weep over these lame-o Bachelors?  If you put it into perspective, the whole filming process of The Bachelor is about eight weeks long.  These women barely even know the guys that they’re bawling their eyes out over!  Yet season after season, they carry on as if this bachelor is the last man on earth.  Go figure.

While I’m on The Bachelor subject…

What I also really want most in life right now is for Courtney from The Bachelor to get some payback.  Like, big time payback.


Be careful, Ben, this one is a handful.  She has been nothing but mean-spirited, manipulative, and sinister during this entire season of The Bachelor.  Holy cow, she is probably the meanest woman to ever step foot on The Bachelor, and that is saying a lot, because there have been some doozies!  I think the worst part of all, is that there have been rumors swirling around that she is the one to snag Ben in the end, and GASP, gets proposed to.  Ugh, the nerve of this wench.  If that’s true, which I hope it’s not, one can only hope karma is a real thing, and that it eventually comes back to bite her in her skinny dipping a.

Is to…Finally accept that I basically had a Toddlers in Tiaras childhood.

Yes, this is me.

As some of you already know I have a special place in my heart for Mackenzie from Toddlers in Tiaras, and now you all know why.  Now in my defense, I may be wearing a massive crown and a fur coat, but I hope you notice that there is not a stitch of make-up on my face.  I’d also like to add that I strictly competed in the talent part of the contest, which usually consisted of me singing a song and doing a little tap dance.  I never did that weird thing that the kids do nowadays where they make sexy faces and “eye contact” with the judges.  It was different in the 80’s…Do you all notice a trend here, though?  What I really want most in life right now is to accept my toddlers in tiaras childhood, but as you can see, I’m not quite there yet!

Is to…Start wearing heels again before I am old enough to break a hip from doing so.

I will wear heels again...I will wear heels again...I will wear heels again...

Living in Grenada for two years in flip-flops really did a number on my feet, but if I’m honest, I hadn’t worn heels for a good year or two before that anyhow.  Being such a short little lady (only 5’2″), I should really be rocking some cute heels every now and then, but I don’t.  Ever.  You would think I would be forced to get my feet into some heels now that I’m back in New York, but instead I have graduated to Ugg boots this winter, which are basically the equivalent to flip-flops.  Ugg boots are a great way to cheat wearing real shoes, because they are practically like wearing slippers.  I have got to start wearing heels before I really am old enough to break a hip.  Plus, I have no excuse.  My Grandma Barkoff literally wore four-inch wedges until the day she died, which was at 88!  Would you believe me if I told that I never once saw my grandma stand up without her heels on?  Well, believe it, because my grandma never let anyone see her without her heels!  She even put them on with her robe and pajamas in the morning!  Yeah, I know, that’s awesome, right?

Is to…Be just like Liza Minnelli when I grow up, minus all the drug and alcohol problems.


This could actually fall under “What I really want most in life always,” because there is seriously no one else on earth that I would want to switch singing and dancing abilities with.  Who is better than Liza?  I can answer that.  No one.  She is the greatest there is, ever was, and ever will be.

~The End.

Photos by stylebistro.com, wetpaint.com, okhereisthesituation.com, pinterest, collegelifestyles.org, cyanyde.tumblr.com