Today started off like any other day. I went to the gym for a quick work-out, I did some homework, cleaned the apartment a little, made lunch, etc. It was raining all day today, which was a nice break from the sweltering past few days we’ve had. It was just your typical tropical rainy kind of day. The kind of day where the rain can fall down in sheets, the next minute the sun can be shining through the clouds, and then back to a rain storm again.
These are the kinds of days that I’d normally stay in all day, unless there are errands that absolutely need to be done. I was just figuring out what to do with my day when Matt asked, “Are you going grocery shopping today?”
“I wasn’t planning on it, but do you need something?” I replied.
“Nah, not really, I just need eggs and wraps,” he said.
This is code for groceries are desperately needed. Matt goes through about a dozen eggs a day, and as I glanced in the fridge to see there were only about five left, I knew it was essential that I go. Plus, I was out of coffee cream, and my day just does not get started off right without it.
So, I put a hoodie on, closed in shoes, and off to the grocery store I went.
I shopped with plenty of elbow room, which was a bonus.
I waited in line, checked out, and had my groceries bagged up within five minutes.
This was a record fast shopping excursion for me. I was pleased. Very pleased.
Well, you all know where this story is going right? Yeah, you know…I mean you have to know.
I cheerfully go outside to wait for the bus that takes me back to campus, and even thought to myself, “What a pleasant day this has been.”
Then, it happened. I saw the guy who stands outside day in and day out selling mango’s, making his usual rounds and giving each and every other person his schpeel, “I’m the local fruit man, wanna buy some mango’s?” To which nearly everyone says no, except for the occasional taker. Today there was a taker. He made a sale, and was quite jolly.
He went to sit back down on the curb, which is his usual perch and proceeded to eat his lunch out of a Styrofoam container. All was normal with the universe, that is until he decided to…
Rip a HUMONGOUS fart. Now this wasn’t any old fart. This resonated, even outside, it sounded like a fog horn that had trill-like quality to it. At least four other people turned around to see who had done such a repulsive thing in public…and there he sat…happy as a clam, grinning brightly with his only two teeth.
If that wasn’t enough, he proceeded to then FART AGAIN. Yes, you heard me right, he actually farted again. This one was significantly smaller, but still. Who does that?!
So you see, what started off as any old day, turned into quite a farty old day.
I should have figured.
P.S. Matt came up with the name for this blog. Isn’t that cute?