To Spill Or Not To Spill…

Do you ever get sick of yourself?  Like, when you’re talking, and suddenly you just want to scream, “Blah!  I don’t wanna talk about me anymore!  I’m over myself today!”  This happens to me a lot when I’m working at the salon, and mostly because I feel like so much of my day revolves around talking about my life.  I think other hair stylists will agree, when women are at the beauty salon they want to gossip, and let me tell you, I’ve heard some cray cray stuff in my time as a stylist.  What always surprises me, though, is how much clients want to know about me. Their questions range from personal to general, but I find that more often than not, I’m asked these questions: What brought you to New York? How long have you been married? How did you meet your husband?  What does your husband do?  Where do you live?  Do you want children?

Sometimes I feel like these ladies are looking at me all like:

You know you want to.

You know you want to.

I really don’t mind sharing things about my personal life, but sometimes it gets exhausting.  It can feel good to talk about myself and therapeutic to share stories, but there are other instances where divulging too much has made me feel overexposed.  I remember telling one client about the time Matt got really sick when we were living in Grenada and how scared I was.  An almost stranger knew about one of the most terrifying moments of my life, and I felt really weird about it afterward.

I think sharing personal anecdotes are one of the big ways women connect with each other (and human beings in general).  Women are emotional creatures, I get it, and I am very emotional, but I do find as I get older, I’m turning into more of a dude.  I don’t really like to have super long conversations on the phone anymore, I can’t stand gossip, and I’ve started to take things at face value more.  Maybe it’s because I live with a dude, maybe it’s because I’m content with where I am in my life, or maybe I simply spent my entire 20’s analyzing myself, and now at 30 I’m spent.  Either way, it’s safe to say I’m just not that into me anymore.  I mean, I love myself as I believe every confident person should, but I just don’t care to brag about how awesome my life is.

I guess I’m too busy living.

~The End.

Photo by Anne Taintor.

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7 thoughts on “To Spill Or Not To Spill…

  1. Here’s a little suggestion . . . just tell them you’re reading a wonderful book, and then talk about the book, or better yet, discuss what the book’s discussing . . . as long as it’s not the book that inspired the film, “Edward Scissorhands”. On the other hand . . .

  2. I get this completely. Random people approach me all the time in situations where I’m waiting for this or that and for some reason start to tell me about their lives; then they expect reciprocation. I grew to be very careful about what I said and to whom I said it, even extending that care to online conversations.

    I often attempt to steer the subject to some innocuous like movies I’ve recently watched or books I’m reading; that usually enables me to leave ME out of the conversation.

  3. Soooooo true, Sarah! I can totally relate! Being that we are in the “entertainment” business (and while “entertaining” them we are helping to make them feel better) we have to keep things lively while we are working, and we are people pleasers as well. By the time I get home I realize how much I treasure my quiet moments more and more! Sometimes you don’t even need words to communicate! Honestly, I am a better listener, and I think that’s why people want to share with me, which I love because I learn so much from others. But I do know a few “extremists” that I just have to walk away from, because they talk NON-STOP…and it’s not that I am not interested, but the elaboration of their stories KILL ME…just cut to the chase…geeeeeeze! Also, I am a very private person…I don’t want everyone to know my “stuff”! So I only share information with a chosen few whom I can totally trust…God (and He already knows) Uncle Mark, your Mom and one or two people from church who I know will pray for me. Keep living that blessed life, and keep up the good work, Sar…I love you and am so proud of you, my buttons are bursting with pride! xoxo

  4. And on the other side of the chair the client (me) is wondering “how in the world do I fill up the two hours while she works on my hair?” I think that’s why we blather out our personal stuff–to fill the awkward silence. Sticking to books and movies or favorite vacation spots sounds like a better plan.

  5. I wish I could send this to a girlfriend who at 31 is still obsessed with bragging. If she “checks me in” to one more effing place I’m going to lose it. Anyhow, this is random since I don’t know you so yeah, thanks for letting me complain via your blog comments.

  6. We all get to a point where we outtalk ourselves and feel the need to slow down. You are there now, enjoy the feeling. You wrote this for a lot of women out there. Some people are good at probing while others cannot probe back leaving them feeling as exposed as you did. A good read..

  7. You have outtalked yourself. Relax and enjoy watching others going through what you have experienced. It is a learning curve for them too. You’ve written this for a lot of women out there who respond to every prob about their lives but they are too decent to probe back and end up sharing their life stories and getting nothing in return because they did not give turns to share..

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