An Open Message to the Guy Who Lives Above Us…

Dear Guy Who Lives Above Us,

You don’t know me, but I live in the apartment below you.  I probably know you better than you think.  I know about the atrocious sleep schedule you keep, I know that you don’t work very much if at all, I know that you like to move furniture around at all times of the day and night, I know that you like Good Morning America (I can hear you watching it every morning), I know that you sometimes dance all by yourself (mostly late at night), I know that you have very, very loud and obnoxious friends, and I know that you enjoy Wyclef Jean.  Cool.  So do I.  Particularly, I love his rendition of “No Woman, No Cry.”  Here’s the thing though, Guy Who Lives Above Us, I don’t really enjoy Wyclef Jean at three in the morning…on a Sunday.

It’s not like you don’t know that you’re noisy.  Multiple neighbors have filed complaints about you, including the elderly woman who lives above you. Then, the night when Hurricane Sandy hit New York, you really outdid yourself.  You had a party that lasted all day and all night.  Some part of you decided it was a grand idea to have this massive party at your place in Brooklyn.  You must have said, “Hey guys!  Party at my digs!  My neighbors won’t mind!!!”  Just curious, what made you think that was a good idea?

Maybe you thought that it didn’t matter, because most of New York was shut down and didn’t have to work.  I get it.  I didn’t have to work, but guess what?  Other people did have to work, including my husband.  Yes, he still had to report to the hospital by 7 AM, even though your party didn’t stop until 5 AM.  And by that time, he was already up for work.

Not cool, Guy Who Lives Above Us, not cool.

I’m not really sure where we go from here, but I’m just going to put this out there:  The next time I get the urge to sing Lisa Loeb’s “Stay” or “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” by Taylor Swift at the top of my lungs, I’m going to do it.  Yeah, I just may belt one of those suckers out, and make you listen to me.  Then again, I may sing a song with notes I can’t hit, notes that make me screech, and make you listen to me try.

So there.

The moral of this story, Guy Who Lives Above Us, is that sometimes your poor decisions make me go…

Seriously.

We’re pretty nice people (The People Who Live in the Apartment Downstairs), and hey, we’re just trying to get some sleep.  So, can you please just shut the f*ck up.  Please?

Thanks.

Sincerely,

The Girl in the Apartment Downstairs

P.S. Does anyone else have noisy neighbors?

~The End

Photo by Anne Taintor

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29 thoughts on “An Open Message to the Guy Who Lives Above Us…

  1. Glad to hear you are safe first of all. Second, neighbors can be a royal pain in the arse at times. I live in a neighborhood run by dogs not humans and those suckers bark all the time day in and day out. I love dogs and being in a neighborhood, but there are times I want to just fly off the handle. Good Luck and Happy Tuesday:)

  2. I live in a good neighborhood and it feels sometime (mostly at weekends) like a slam … arguing in loud, guys outside the building sitting untill late, ect. and what I do…well…eventually it makes me lough, …sometimes the loud arguments are juisy…and at least, the party ends untill midnight.

  3. I had a series of bad neighbours, mostly involved in crime and drug dealing, so they didn’t last long, but I had one asshole who partied from 2am to 9am who I reported to the Police and complained to housing.

    He was (eventually) evicted, but had to leave the country because he didn’t pay his supplier and THAT was something you don’t do!!! 🙂

    I have Chris now who lives above me and he sleeps most of the time, but likes to move his furniture around at 4am.

    The only pain is that James, his mate, buzzes me to be let in because Chris turns off his intercom.

    James is a nice guy, but getting awakened at 3am to let him in is a bit much…

    Love and hugs to you both!

    Prenin.

    • See, that’s what I’m talking about! Seriously, who moves furniture around at 4am?! Apparently my neighbor and your neighbor!

  4. Our neighbors aren’t noisy, but they have a dog that likes to bark ALOT. And get out. One day it kept charging at me and barking — in MY yard! Yesterday the neighbor put a sign between our yards (facing the street, not our house, mind you) addressed “to the coward who keeps calling animal control on [him]” I suspect he suspects we are the ones who called. But we didn’t. I almost did when I did not know who the dog belonged to. Anyway, I guess we shall see what else happens. I hope your situation gets better. I have dealt with crummy neighbors before!!

  5. I LIVED with someone as stupid and inconsiderate as the Guy Who Lives Above You. It was NOT cool. Pots and pans & clanking around the kitchen at 3:30 AM? A loud conversation alternating between joyous laughter and angry screams at 4:45 AM? MADNESS. My favorite was when she invited people over… to our teeny tiny apartment without so much as a heads up.

  6. You should print this out and slip it under his door. It seems more subtle messages don’t get through to him. But I would die laughing if you do the singing too!

  7. OMG I know exactly how you feel! So here is what works! Buy a AV receiver with powerful speakers, get a ladder, climb it to the ceiling, and just like me blast and sing Beyonce – Irreplaceable. He’ll get the point! Oh and start blending protein drinks in the wee hours of the morning…how about them apples!

  8. A few years ago I lived in an apartment next door to people who smoked pot literally every single day. It was a huge building and you could smell the weed when you got off the elevator, which was a good thirty yards from their apartment. It was terrible. It finally got so bad that it started seeping into my apartment, which is where my roommates and I drew the line. We left them a note letting them know and asked them to open a window or ease up. It curbed the problem for a little while but not for long. When it started coming back into our apartment I just went and knocked on the door and let them know if they didn’t fix the problem we’d report them to the manager. Problem solved.
    I’m not sure if anyone in your building has talked to the guy face to face but it might help.
    Good luck! Bad neighbors are the WORST and losing sleep is awful. I hope the situation gets resolved soon!

  9. I have a woman with a young son who I promise must do tumbling passes on a regular basis and is probably up until about 10:00 PM as if he doesn’t have to go to school the next day. I have banged on the wall either yelling, “Go to bed!” or “Sit your behind down!” The bouncing off the walls stops…for a little while anyway.

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