The Woes of Being a Short Person…

This past weekend I went to a concert with my very tall friend, Reagan.  We went to see Morrissey at Terminal 5 in NYC.  One of the reasons I was so excited about this concert was that it was a small venue and standing room only, which meant a great view and an opportunity to get close to the stage.  So, why is Reagan’s height significant to this story you ask?  It’s simple.  She could see and I could not, because well, I’m short.

Sure the music was great, and Morrissey can still sing like he did in the 80’s, but I might as well have been listening to him on my iPod, because I couldn’t see a thing.  Nada.  Not even a little bit.  You know what I think is funny?  (You short people will hopefully identify, and appreciate this) All of the tallest men in the whole damn joint were somehow strategically placed in front of me!  Why, Why, Why does that always happen?

Throughout the concert, I became accustomed to watching other people’s faces around me for their reactions, because I couldn’t see anything myself.  Occasionally the crowd would “Ooooh” or “Ahhhhh” and I just had to assume something really cool was happening.  The most exciting part of the concert was when Morrissey sang the lyrics, “Close your eyes and think of someone you physically admire,” in his Bri-ish accent and followed it up with ripping his shirt off like He-Man.  The only reason I know this happened was because my tall friend who could see, turned to me and squealed, “Oh my God, Sar, he just ripped his shirt off!  That was crazy!”  I had to judge by her reaction of shock, then laughter, and then glee that she was thoroughly entertained by his antics, and that it was the highlight of her experience.  However, I did not see any of it.

At one point I blindly held my camera up in the air, set the zoom mode all the way up, and took a pretty decent picture.  In fact, I didn’t realize how good it was until I got home and saw for myself.  Geez, the lengths short people have to go to, to see what’s going on!

Not bad, huh? What can I say, I make the best of my circumstances.

On a side note, I left with a cool souvenir.  I bought myself a t-shirt with Morrissey in a barber’s chair, getting that signature ‘do of his.  How fitting for my profession!  Although I didn’t buy one, they were also selling tote bags that said “Shoplifters of the World Unite.”  Ha!  I thought that was quite cheeky and clever (forgive me for the British slang, but I’m going with a theme here…)

If I learned anything from this experience it’s that next time I go to see one of my favorite artists live, I will invest in some really, really good seats or skip the “standing room only” shenanigans all together, because it was kind of the pits.

Can any of you short people out there identify with this?

~The End

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11 thoughts on “The Woes of Being a Short Person…

  1. I can totally identify. Luckily, some venues have a “slope” on the floor so we short people can see. Gramercy Theatre is one of these venues as well as Music Hall of Williamsburg (which also has nifty bleacher seating on the top floor). I feel your pain!

  2. I totally get it! I was in the pit for a Nine Inch Nails concert and had a hard time seeing much of anything until my well-over-a-foot-taller-than-me friend pushed me up toward the front and then acted as bodyguard all night long. At one point I thought I was going to be swallowed by the crowd, but my buddy just ended up pushing people off of me and creating a small protective bubble around me. Despite a ponytail smacking me in the face for a portion of the show, I had a great time and could see really well. Next time, have your tall friend act as a buffer. =)

  3. This ALWAYS happens to me. I also generally end up standing by the person who sings reallllllly loud and aggressively pushes me around while they “dance” to the music. Being short at concerts is the worst!

  4. I took my girlfriend to the Trans Siberian concert and, being 6’2 myself, I didn’t think that we would need stadium seats so I choose a spot on the ground level. Poor thing missed most of the pryotechnics because she’s so much shorter than me 😦

  5. I went to a few gigs over the years before I became ill and even though I’m 5’8″ tall there were times when I had to listen and not see!!! 😦

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

  6. I am 5’7″ and had never felt short in my life…. Until the pit! I wanted to go to a concert and only standing room tickets were available. It was a first and I loved it, even when I couldn’t see. I went back a few weeks later for another concert and ran into a lot of stinky people. Ew. That bothered me more than the taller people. You can’t help your height but good Lord, there’s deodorant in the bathroom!!

  7. Funnily enough my roommate is like 5 foot something short and I’m like 5 foot 8.5 so like, um, I really can’t empathize as well, I’m usually like the quarterback leading the way while she cautiously follows behind me in crowds. Ironically though, my shorter friends always got dates while I, being the tall green giant, didn’t. So um, being short is the total way to go! I’m too tall..sooo tall.. it’s good for scaring away gangs and gooky people though. 😀

    Pink.

  8. I was there. And I’m five foot four-ish. So, yeah… I was really wishing we’d stood in the third row balcony. Instead we were by the bar. I’d heard he was one to tantrum and walk off stage. Instead I found his show to be a pleasant surprise.

  9. So funny Sarah. Sadly I can relate and feel the frustration. I saw Morrissey the other day on Stephen Colbert. It was hilarious but I could actually see it, because it was on TV. 🙂 DOH

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