11 Movies To Not Watch When You’re Sad…

So…

10 Movies To Not Watch When You’re Sad…

Why?

Well, because then it just might make me more sad…so take notes…

11.)  Stepmom

= Humongous downer. Terminally ill mother coming to terms with her imminent death = perfect combo to evoke tears.

Sure it's all fun and games while they're singing "Ain't No Mountain High Enough," but not for long...

10.)  Fried Green Tomatoes

=  An array of catastrophes to get the tears flowin’.  Buddy dies in a horrific way leaving his awkward sister to become even more awkward and misunderstood without him…Ruth also kicks the bucket…Buddy Jr. loses a limb…The End.

Party is about to be over in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

9.)  Titanic

= Need I say more than this–>  “I’ll never let go, Jack. I promise.”

P.S.  This said right before homegirl let Jack sink to the bottom of the freezing frickin’ water, so her fat a** could enjoy the roomy plank of wood alone.  Without Jack.  Forever.  Hope it was worth it, Rose.  Hope it was worth it.

Rose, I'm sorry for saying you had a fat a**, but why'd you have to let Jack go and die on us? Whyyyyyyy???

8.)  Marley and Me

=  Do not…I repeat DO NOT watch this movie if you’re an animal lover…

I made the mistake and watched this movie right after my dog died, and cried so hard that I broke 3 blood vessels.

Repeat after me...All dogs go to heaven...All dogs go to heaven...

7.)  Armageddon

The perfect formula to make you lose it…does this ring a bell?  Dad or fiancé…dad or fiancé?  C’mon really Armageddon, you went there?  Why yes, yes you did.

So, who's it gonna be...dad or fiance?

6.)  Boys Don’t Cry

=  Ummm…so I think we all knew that this movie was not going to end well right after it started, but it’s one of those films that makes you hope, right up until the end, that you’re going to be proven wrong…but unfortunately you’re not.

Please no! Please? Oh man...

5.)  Million Dollar Baby

=  Look at Hilary Swank hitting it out of the park with another doozy…

Note to self…If Hilary Swank is bruised and/or bloodied in a movie in the future, do not watch, because it will probably be an epic depressing experience. <–But actually, P.S. I Love You was also a huge downer and that movie included neither, so maybe it’s safer to say that if a film includes Hilary Swank then avoid at all costs.

Eeeeek.

4.)  Term of Endearment

=  Daughter dies…mom has a breakdown (that I still can’t get over apparently…because thinking about it right now is evoking tears), and we all learn a valuable lesson…Everyone shows love in their own way.  <–I just wish we could have learned that lesson without Debra Winger dying though…

Warning: You are being set up with jovial smiles only to be taken to the saddest part of your soul later on.

3.)  The Color Purple

=  I mean, do I really need to even get into this right now?

Sisters love each other, sisters get torn away from each other, only to be reunited in a gallant run across a huge field many years later filled with tears of joy, love, and triumph.

What we learned from The Color Purple? The bond of sisters can never be broken.

2.)  Steel Magnolias

=  I feel like every single person who reads my blog, wrote to me practically pleading to get this one on, so I had no other choice but to oblige and add it in.

And for good reason…

The scene where M’Lynn flips out in the cemetery after Shelby dies is so tragic, real, heartbreaking, and moving that you cannot help but feel exactly what she is going through.

Even with her ugly cry-face on, she still breaks your heart.

1.) Beaches

=  Duuuuuuude…really?  If this movie doesn’t make you bust a gut then I don’t know what will.

Best friends love each other…best friends vie for the love of the same man…best friends hate each other (but really still love each other)…Best friends both get divorced…Best friends reunite (and it feels so good), one friend gets a debilitating disease…Best friends go to beach house so one friend can die…

Then, one friend dies…

Bette sings it out…

We cry just a wee bit more…

And thus concludes pretty much the saddest movie ever.

Beaches = Not a good time.

~The End.

All photos courtesy of IMDB

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29 thoughts on “11 Movies To Not Watch When You’re Sad…

  1. How ’bout Steel Magnolias? Even though I know how it goes I made the mistake of watching it on my laptop on a bus from NYC to Boston. Freaking blubbering fool.

    • Omg! Ha! See, I was gonna do Steel Magnolia’s but I feel like that movie is so funny, and it’s just the ending that’s sad…no?

  2. I watched Beaches just once and vowed never to watch it again – super sad. Terms of Endearment and Fried Green Tomatoes tear jerkers along with Steel Magnolias. Marley and Me – OMG – I ball like a baby every time I watch this movie and for some reason watching this once was not enough – had to torture myself through a few more watchings. Thanks for sharing.

  3. I watched Marley and Me in the first tri of my pregnancy. Wish I would have read this post first and saved myself the sobfest. 🙂

  4. Great list of movies to not watch when feeling blue. Definitely need to add Steel Magnolias or perhaps Bridges of Madison County?

    Anywhooo, I recently watched P.S I love You and there is violence to Hillary Swanks character. So funny you saw that pattern. In the movie where she does Karoke for first time, she falls off the stage and breaks her nose. I adore this movie.

    Basically don’t watch Lifetime, LMN or any TV for that matter when feeling sad. which will only lead to shopping or eating, and those are bad too, but that is not the topic of convo here.

    great lil’ blog you started!

    • Omg, Bridges of Madison County! Good one. Oh, and definitely going to add Steel Magnolia’s everyone is suggesting the same thing!!

  5. I was thinking Steel Magnolias too, but I agree, it’s so funny as well. Since my brother died, I see Sally Field’s character as my mom, and I just don’t think I should watch that movie anymore! Her flip out after the funeral. Oh man.

    • Sorry about your brother:( That part when Sally Field flips out is just so uncomfortably authentic and moving, isn’t it?

  6. I was thinking Steel Magnolias too! It is HILARIOUS and totally watchable if you just turn it off before the end. But if you watch the end… oh dear. I have never watched Marley & Me and I’m not sure I will, especially now that my doggies are getting up there in age. There is also this old movie that I LOVED as a teenager… it’s called Untamed Heart and has Christian Slater (my celeb boyfriend back in that era) and Marisa Tomei and it is up there with the tear jerkers, though it is also kind of weird and off-beat too. If you haven’t seen it, I will try to tempt you with the tantalizing hint “baboon heart” and we will see if that makes you seek it out 🙂

  7. Marley and Me is like the best.worst movie. Because you love how the family all bonds with Marley and he’s so cute and funny but than its inevitable from the beginning that the poor baby is going to get old and pass away. I find myself crying in the middle of that movie sometimes. I watched it again just last weekend with my puppy and just held my puppy for 2 hours and wouldn’t let go, while he in the mean time gave me a weird puppy dog face that told me I was smothering him, but I didn’t care, I was never letting go.

    Good list though and I agree with you on Step Mom – thats a real tear jerker and Susan Saradon is amazin’

    • That’s true, AB, sometimes it is good to just cry it out. I should do a post on songs to not listen to (or to listen to:) when you’re sad, because I have some doozies that will definitely do you in if you need a good cry sesh. Ha!!

  8. I thought the Titanic was great but could only watch it once. That last hour was tough watching a bunch of people die.
    The Color Purple will always be a favorite whether happy or sad and is one of the few times when the movie equals or surpasses the book. Still, it took me years to get through the end of the movie WITHOUT crying. At least the ending was happy.

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