Everyone Gets Old…Well, Except For Maybe Barbie…

So, lately I’ve realized that I’m slowly becoming geriatric.  I know, I know, I’m only 28, so how is that possible?  Well, it is, and this story is sad, but true (P.S. This has absolutely nothing to do with the song Runaround Sue), but more to do with some very unfortunate realities that at some point we youngin’s have to accept.  Now, some of us have to accept this sooner than others (such as moi), but no matter what, everybody has to come to terms with aging sooner or later anyway.

I must disclose, there have been signs for at least a year now that I’m becoming somewhat of a fossil, but up until now, I was in denial.  However, after becoming conscious of the fact that I’m doing some very old-timer-esque things, it’s time to come clean, and make a change, and hopefully it will feel so good, make a difference, and feel so right<–like Michael Jackson said.

So, I bring you…

Top 5 Reason’s I’ve Been Acting Old:

Ratings are on a scale from 1-101 = not acting that old, and 10 = practically acting like a senior…

In no particular order…

1.)  I unintentionally started to use products that my G-ma used to love, (e.g. Ponds cold cream, and ivory soap.)  I thought I had discovered some really inexpensive beauty gems, until I told my mom of my new-found beauty regimen, and she reminded me that those were also my grandma’s favorite products. Dang it.  Old Fogie Rating Of: 8

2.)  I have discovered that I am now lactose intolerant, and now have to drink Lactaid milk, and take Lactaid pills any time I want to consume dairy.  I don’t think you really need/want to here about the reasons how I came to this conclusion, so I won’t even go there, because things could get really awkward for all of us.  Deal?  Since this one is really not my fault or choosing, I give it an Old Fogie Rating Of: 5

Apparently I'm not the only one getting old...

3.)  Lately I have had a new love for food that doesn’t require any chewing…e.g. soup, and oatmeal<–‘Nuff said.  Old Fogie Rating Of: 7

4.)  I used to absolutely hate the song Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye, mostly because when I was about 17, I was at a wedding and saw a bunch of couples my parents age grinding to it on the dance floor, so I always associated it with middle age booty dancing, and the song has remained timelessly awkward to me ever since….until…I recently heard it while grocery shopping, and had an intense urge to start grooving to the beat myself.  I held myself back, and resorted to humming along to it instead…regardless, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Old Fogie Rating Of: 7

5.)  When Matt and I were on our honeymoon in Kauai, we spent a lot of time listening to old island music on a local radio station in our rented car.  Okay, okay, so that doesn’t exactly constitute as acting old, but the following does.  After a week or so of nothing but ukulele’s, we decided to find a radio station that played the Top 40’s…before I proceed, let me just say that it could have merely been that we started off on the wrong foot, because the first song we heard was Akon’s “I Just Had Sex.”  All I know is, we took one look at each other, mumbled something to the effect of, “What is this music these days?!” and I think I also remarked that it was “giving me a headache,” (which is so something that my dad used to say when we’d be listening to radio when I was a teenager.) Anyway, we listened to it for about 30 seconds, and flipped the radio right back to the ukulele station.  Old Fogie Rating Of: 9

I have other reasons, too, but I think you get the point by now…

I also want to say that along with these ways I’ve been acting old, I have also been feeling kind of old.  For example, on my honeymoon I saw a group of girls, who were no older than 21, frolicking along the beach in their bikini’s, with no cellulite, and a beer in one hand.  It was obvious that they could still drink those beers, without a fear of gaining a beer gut just yet, and it’s not even as though I like beer (because I actually hate it) but I felt, well…OLD.  I tried to remind myself that I’m not old, and that normally in other circumstances, I feel confident with myself…but I couldn’t help it, I still felt old.  I wouldn’t trade where I’m at in my life for anything, but sometimes, you can’t help it, you still just feel how you feel, even if it’s irrational.

Anyway, I think I would rather just embrace the fact that I am getting older, than fight it, but I have to remind myself to not lose sight of the fact that I am still only 28 for God’s sake!  Everybody gets older.  Everybody. 

Well, except for maybe..

The Barb-inator...

But sooner or later, even those girls who I saw on my honeymoon?  Well, they’re going to get old one day, too.

All photos courtesy of Barbie inc., and Anne Taintor.

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14 thoughts on “Everyone Gets Old…Well, Except For Maybe Barbie…

  1. Ughhhh, I know what you mean! My friend played that Akon song for me and I was like, wtf???? How is this okay? And I watched the VMAs and was like, “I don’t know who any of these people are…” which is so something one of my older siblings would have said and I would have rolled my eyes and thought, “That’s because you’re OLD.”
    I’m also 28, and seriously it’s like, I hit 28 and suddenly I’m gaining weight. Granted, I pretty much eat what I want and exercise when I feel like it, but suddenly that doesn’t work for me anymore? Sad….

    • Yeah, seriously that it was happened to me, but at like, 25. Now I have to exercise every day and really diligently watch my diet. Now that I’m older, everything just takes a little more effort. Ugh.

  2. I think you may not be considered truly geriatric until your daily routine includes bengay and eating dried up prunes to keep you regular. Oh the relief!!

    Btdubs, next time “Sexual Healing” comes on wherever you shall be please bust a move to it. I promise if I saw you I wouldn’t “your team” you. “Your team” is the game I play where when I see a seriously embarrassingly dressed person, embarrassingly acting person, or just plain freak show, and tell the person I’m with (texting pictures works too if you’re alone) that person is on their team. It’s fun! And a lot more discreet to say “your team” than to just point and laugh… But anyways I so wouldn’t your team you for that!

    • Hey Jessie, does it count if I have to take Metamucil to stay regular? Ooopsies, TMI? Maybe I should have added that one to my list too! Ha! Btdubs, I am going to start playing your game “your team,” the only thing is, I am a little confused about the rules. So, do you actually go up to the person and say “I’m on your team?” or is that just, like, a code when you’re out with your friends and see a freak show?!

      • Well, you could go up to them but then they’d probably think you’re the freak show. And you’re not on THEIR team… You ‘your team’ them to whoever your with. You shouldn’t be happy with your team unless your my boyfriend who just doesn’t get it. So say you and I at Walmart (let’s face it, there’s a lot of freaks that shop there… Hello people of Walmart), and we see a person wearing an outfit 5 times too small and all their rolls are hanging, I’d say to you “shes on your team.” Get it?

        And the metamucil thing beat out every single thing you listed, FYI.

  3. First of all, your blog is honest to g my fave. So funny because these are exactly the things that get talked about on Friday Wine Nights. Feel free to join. Secondly, I turned 30 this year (disgusto). And I hate to say it, but JUST WAIT! I don’t know what happens, but it’s not good. I mean it beats the alternative, but still. Not good. It’s like the day I turned 30, approximately 27 of my hairs decided to turn grey at once and and my body said ‘oh you just wait… you only THOUGHT you knew what a hangover was!!” My solution? Tell everyone that you’re 25. It works, and sometimes you really believe it yourself!!! 🙂

    • Aubrie! Thank you so much for saying my blog is your fave! Honestly, that means a lot to hear! Every time I write a post I’m like, “Are they gonna like it?! Eeeek!!” So, its awesome to hear positive feedback! P.S. I try to accidentally on purpose forget that I’m 28 (almost 29) and pretend I’m 26 or 27. You’re right, though, it does kind of work!!

  4. Oh wow, how I understand and agree with it all. I say the same thing bout getting old and most people just brush it off saying /i am way too young to feel that. But, I still do. And I still gag when the radio starts singing sex moans and sex terms and brainless repetition…. We are all getting older just very few of us acknowledge and accept it.

    Let the girls prance in their bikinis and beer. Before long they have stretch mark scars and cellulite. Let them enjoy while we sit and drool…. And I always hated Barbie.

    • Omg, I gag to when I hear inappropriate songs like that. Sometimes I feel like I’m just a prude or something, but I honestly think the world has changed since I was a teenager. I mean, Britney Spears’ school girl outfit used to be considered risque! WTF?!

  5. Well I’m 51 hun and listening to the music of the 80’s 90’s and noughties, so I guess I’ve still got a little way to go before I become a total geriatric!!! LoL!!!

    Remember: You are as old as you feel!!! 🙂

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

  6. Hi I’m the one who guessed who Laura Bell Bundy was before your revealed the big secret.

    I loved your comment about the Cold Cream. I had a a toss and turn night and one of my many thoughts in my head was I need a new face wash and then I remembered my Grandma always used Ponds Cold Cream and I would use it when I stayed with her. So in the middle of the night I had a revelation that this week I was going to buy some. Plus every time I see it I think of my Grandma, it is the smell and I love the smell of it. I hope it will help keep my face clean and maybe help with my all of sudden 13 year old acne face that I have developed in my mid 30’s. What is that all about? I do what I”m suppose to and this is what I get in return. I should add that my old person comment is waking up in the morning and having to do a good stretch because my body is stiff and you can barely move.

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