Facebook Have I Loved…

So Facebook…

I have a love/hate relationship with you.  Sometimes I love you…For instance, when I find out news that a friend is engaged, preggers, or buying a new house/apartment…when I see pictures of my nieces and nephews…when I find out breaking national news (e.g. Amy Winehouse’s death, we killed Osama Bin Laden, etc.) without having to sit in front of the television/computer watching the news 24/7.

Sometimes I hate you…For instance, political rants, uncomfortable self portraits in bikini’s or underwear (if it’s a guy) taken by a cellphone in their reflection in the mirror (Umm…can we say AWKWARD?? P.S. Please stop this, it’s troublesome for everyone), TMI posts (come on people, we have parents and children on fb now!), grammatical errors galore, public break-ups (although that might just fall under the TMI category…), and last but not least, voyeurism.

What is voyeurism on Facebook?

Voyeurism is also known as stalking on Facebook.  It is the act of seeking out information about a person that you otherwise wouldn’t know.  Stalking doesn’t count if you haven’t talked to a friend in a few weeks/month/year, and you go to their profile to check their pictures out, and to see what is going on in their life lately, and then you post a comment to their wall saying “I miss you,” or something to that effect.  Stalking/voyeurism in the Facebook world, is when you are friends with someone (e.g. ex’s, strangers, people you knew in high school/ college that you haven’t spoken to in years, etc.) and you look at their profile obsessively to see what is transpiring in their life, but you never make a comment. Ever…You just, like, stalk their life, and either live vicariously through them, or use the information about their life to either make yourself feel better about your own life, or maybe looking at it makes you feel bad about yourself.  Either way it’s…

AWKWARD!

Personally, I don’t think Facebook is really all that healthy either.  I think that there are some people in your life that you are meant to forget, and just move on from.  I know, I know what you’re thinking…If you don’t want someone to know something about your life, don’t accept the friend request.  Well, I 100% agree with that, but I do believe if someone wants to stalk you, they’re going to find a way to stalk you, even if you aren’t friends on Facebook…Sure you can put everything about yourself on all the privacy settings that exist, but people find ways around it.

Anyway, I am off on a tangent about stalking/voyeurism and that is not really what this post is about.

This post is about how annoying Facebook can be, and how I hate it most of the time, but I just can’t bring myself to hit that ‘delete my account’ button.  I ask myself why all the time, and I don’t have an answer.  It really doesn’t bring me all that much joy anymore (except when I see all the cute pics of my nieces and nephews), it just kind of makes me uncomfortable.  About five years ago, I remember thinking, I wonder how old people will be when they start deleting their Facebook accounts.  I guess I assumed once people got their real jobs, and started to have families, Facebook would just become something of the past.  However, now everyone’s parents are on Facebook, middle school age kids are on Facebook, basically people of all ages are on Facebook!  I really don’t see it going away anytime soon.

And I really don’t know yet how I feel about that…

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28 thoughts on “Facebook Have I Loved…

  1. For all the reasons you listed above, I deleted my account in May. And? People are mean on the internet. I had “friends” on Facebook who would post things there that they would never, ever say to my face.
    Since deleting my account, I’ve had issues from Facebook that are never-freaking-ending. People who think I blocked them and just can’t understand why I would end our friendship that way. Uh, what? If you think I blocked you, pick up your phone and get in touch with me and ask what’s up! I deleted the entire account, not just YOU!
    And, of course, the various functions I have missed because “Well, you don’t have a Facebook, so I couldn’t invite you.” Yes, but you see me five days a week at work. It’s pretty easy to invite me there!
    End.rant.
    I will say this…I don’t miss it one single bit.

    • I totally agree with everything that you said! You’re right, fb does enable people to never really have any real life conversations!! Thanks for reading:)

  2. You should add people that use their facebook account to try to sell products for whatever pyramid scheme they are involved in like Gold Canyon candles, Avon, Scentsy… Oh and people that have the worst day ever every day but never say what is wrong.

  3. Ba ha ha ha!! I deleted my “friend” after she was using facebook as a way to stalk me and my clients and harass them saying she would charge less for their hair than I do… I could go on but I will stop. She sent me a crazy long text saying she can’t believe I would end our “friendship” that way.. It is annoying, I mean we live thousands of miles away and we don’t need to be “friends”. ps she knew I had deleted her within minutes.. so crazy. ok! Oh and I never really check my errors I know I always have too many… whoopsies.. 😉

    • Omg, that is so funny! I always want to delete people, but then I feel bad! Haha! Oh, and the grammatical errors really wasn’t my pet peeve, but last night I posted on fb about how annoying people can get on there, and someone mentioned that grammatical errors really get on her nerves, so I had to add it to the list! Ha!

  4. There is nothing wrong with spring cleaning your friends list. I have people that I daily say “ugh I’m so sick of their statutes!” And finally something pushes me over the edge, like this guy took a picture of his really white teeth before tanning talking about how the Edward Cullen teeth whitener really works. DELETED! (Said like Jim Carry in Liar Liar). But then there are things like staying in touch with family or friends that all live so far away, that makes facebook really great.

    • See, that is exactly why I love Facebook! I love keeping in touch with my family and close friends, but maybe I need to just come to terms with hitting DELETE!

  5. This post has motivated me to do another round of deletions lol. FB is great for touching base with actual friends and family, but its really weird when it comes to those ppl you never actually interact with. How about that awkward person who met you one time and decided it was ok to friend request you…. AWKWARD.

    • Naeemah! Hooray you read my blog! Oh, and I have a bunch of fb friends like that, too…people I have met a few times who friend request me, and then I feel obligated to accept, but we never really interact on fb at all. The cyber world is a very weird place…Yes, it is.

  6. I literally just logged off of FB and thought to myself, “I am so sick of FB – maybe I should delete my account.” A threat I make often, and never follow through. Then I decided to read the choice few blogs that I follow, because they are a pleasant dose of reality (thank you), as opposed to the time suck that is FB (ok, not always, but usually it is nothing but a time suck). I couldn’t believe the topic of your blog tonight. How appropriate! I am so on board with everything being discussed here! I’d like to add one of my least favorite FB experiences to this growing list. When someone you knew well in the past adds you as a friend, and not too long after, you send them a very kind, genuine message (message, not wall post) that says any number of things, such as: congratulating them on their beautiful family; reminiscing about a fun/funny memory you shared with them; complimenting them on their fabulous new hair color… you get the drift. Then …… crickets chirping….. no response….. ever. How rude! Oh and one more thing… how weird is it when a “friend” you don’t know at all (i.e. you barely knew their name in high school) posts something random to your wall? No thank you! Deleted!

    • Well, thanks for reading!! I cannot even tell you that I have had the exact same experience you are talking about, with the sending an old friend a private message! Would you believe that? It’s crazy because I always make a point to write people back, even if its just a little wall message, but some people just don’t. Like ever. I don’t care who it is, an old acquaintance or a close friend, it’s rude to not respond! Ahh, thanks for bringing that up!

  7. LOVE this post. (love your blog too by the way)

    I have a strict 55 friend limit. If I get above that- I go through the ol’ friend list. Girl I knew in high school, but don’t really have a connection with-gone. One of my parents friends that I wouldn’t recognize in the grocery store- gone. Internet acquaintance that I once got along with but don’t really have anything in common with- gone.

    I’ve never understood letting every single person I’ve come in contact with on my facebook. I don’t know- maybe I don’t understand the point of facebook. I was under the impression the my friends list was for just that- friends.

    Oh and I completely agree about the “omg worst day ever!” How is everyday the worst day ever?

    • Thanks so much for reading. I love when you guys respond! It makes it so much more fun:) Anyway, I like your style with the 55 friend limit. The other day a friend posted something that said she gets uncomfortable if her friend list goes over 200, and I totally get that and agree. Sometimes its just awkward to have that many friends!!

  8. I go through this same conflict with myself every few months 🙂 I actually have deleted my facebook before, but I ended up getting it back again. It’s so hard because while there are so many bad things about it, it can also be really helpful for getting in touch with people, finding out about things, and making connections. Right now I just try to limit those on my friend list and avoid going on it unless someone sends me a message or I need to get in touch with someone. It is such a love/hate relationship!

    • That’s exactly my prob too! It happens to be a great source for making connections, so it’s hard to think about giving it up. Perhaps I need to just quit going on so much…Ha! Anyway, thanks for reading Erin!

  9. I agree with this so much! I periodically go thru and clean house on my friends list. There is a point when you need to move on. The main reason I still have an account now is because I’m living away from my hometown for the first time, and it’s nice to be able to share photos etc with famiy and friends that are still in my life, but separated only by geography. Facebook is a wretched Catch 22

  10. One annoying thing about Facebook is that it may tend to give you the impression that there’s a massive party going on to which you were not invited, where people you knew several years ago are apparently leading happier lives than yours turned out to be. Well, if they’re so fucking happy, how come they’re on Facebook eh? You’re my Blog of the Month.

    • That is so true what you said about the massive popularity contest that you feel like you’re missing out on. Well said. Thanks for reading:)

  11. I am having this exact same issue with Facebook. I love being able to keep in touch with all of my friends from college, and family members that live all over the country (especially for pictures of my nephew who was born in May and lives in Michigan while I am in Florida!). But I hate the idea of Facebook stalking. Ugh! So weird!

    I actually deactivated my account because it got so annoying – people don’t interact with each other anymore because they just creep on Facebook. I haven’t been on in like 2 months but I constantly get phone calls from my mom telling me to get back on Facebook to see the video of Oren (my nephew) that my sister or brother-in-law posted.

    For Oren, I might just cave in and go back.

  12. “I think that there are some people in your life that you are meant to forget, and just move on from.”

    I’ve had that thought so many times everytime someone from junior high or even elementary school “friends” me on Facebook. Facebook just makes it all that much easier to find people from your past…which can be a good thing, or a bad thing…

    • You know, exactly what you just said about sometimes getting back in touch with people from your past can be a good or bad thing, I just totally agree with that 100%. Thanks for your thoughts.

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