What is a “Chat and Cut?”:
Coined by the comedic genius Larry David; the act of feigning sincerity with someone you barely know (and/or even like), and employing trite conversation, to cut into a line (i.e a buffet, movie theater, grocery store, etc.)
“Do you see what’s going on here? This woman is completely doing a Chat and Cut to get ahead in the buffet line.”
Today I experienced what Larry David from Curb Your Enthusiasm would refer to as a “chat and cut” while I was grocery shopping. There were only 2 lines in the whole place open, and the one I was in was a mile long. So, there I stand with my cart full of 5 tons of groceries, unaware of the chat and cut that was about to claim my innocence, when some broad comes out of nowhere pushing and shoving and trying to get to the front of the line. She makes her way to some dude she seems to barely know, and starts chatting it up with him about useless babble. She was like, “OMGeee, I totally haven’t seen you since March!” You could tell the guy was def not in the mood to yuck it up with her, or aid and abet with her little scheme of a chat and cut, but she wasn’t taking a hint, and if she was, she was ignoring it. She thought she was pulling one over on all of us in the line, as she managed to make her swift segue, and then to insult our intelligence even more, once she got settled there, she tried her best to seem carefree and unconcerned as she browsed the magazines. Once she got that spot in the line, it became obvious that she purely used this dude for cutting purposes, because she completely gave up on making the awkward conversation with him. Lame.
I like to think of Larry David as my fairy Godfather. Kind of like, WWLD? As I experienced my first chat and cut (well, my first one since becoming aware of the term), I really should have said something but I didn’t, and Larry would have toooootally said something. It’s okay, though, because I’m pretty sure she could feel the daggers I was trying to telepathically send to the back of her head. Hooray.